Magic Mushrooms, the breakdown:
I was in junior high the first time I ever heard of Magic Mushrooms, also known as shrooms, mushies and psilocybin. For those of you that are not aware, magic mushroom kits can be ordered to grow naturally or hydroponically; they also happen to grow in cow shit. The conditions have to be right, but you’d be amazed at how many shrooms one moderate cow pasture can produce. Do be careful when picking, if you get the wrong ones they can be quite leathel, dont say I didnt warn you.
In the begining…
I was about 12 or 13 years old, i’d never dabbled with drugs or alcohol, but all of the sudden I was a bit curious. There were quite a few kids at school that had done them and it was quickly becoming all the rage. It didnt help that we grew up in the woods and our neighborhoods were separated by a cow pasture. For years we’d been playing in that cow pasture, fucking with the bulls until they would chase us… fucking with the owners until they would chase us, and just generally raising hell. Who would have guessed we were sitting on a gold mine this entire time. Hindsight is 20-20 I guess…
Intro: Mom
Finally one day I started questioning my mom about shrooms. She had grown up in the 60′s and it was no secret that my parents were a little (lot) wild back in the day. When I questioned her about them she had no earthly idea what I was talking about. She didn’t believe there was such a thing. Her exact quote was “If there was such a thing, why wouldn’t everyone be doing them”. I now know that shrooms only grow a few places in the world one of which is the southern states within America. My mom grew up in the North and back in those days they didn’t have High Times magazine to inform them, so it’s no wonder she was oblivious. She told me “I dont believe they work, if you can find some go ahead and do them.” and I did just that.
Harvested!
Actually it wasn’t that easy. We did some initial research and found that shrooms typically grow in more humid and moist/rainy conditions and often in the shade. We also established that we needed the ones with the purple caps. We waited for the stars to align and when everything was in place we rushed the cow fields with hefty bags in hand. When we got there it was already too late. Someone had harvested every damn shroom in the entire pasture. We weren’t quite sure who or how anyone had done this, but we waited patiently for the right conditions to take place again. The neighborhood wasn’t that large and before the conditions presented themselves again we figured out who harvested all the damn shrooms.
Intro: Carpi Brothers
It was the Carpi Brothers. We all knew them, they were our age and we all went to school together and now they had the whole damn shroom market cornered. We found out these guys were actually running a drive through service out of their bedroom window. Walk up to the window, knock, handover $5 bucks and you’d be the proud new owner of a cup of shroom tea. They lived in our neighborhood so we arranged to meet them at their house on Halloween. Philip and his older brother Eric were having a party on halloween which gave us the perfect alibi. I’d spend the night, we’d all get some shrooms and watch each other melt.
Halloween Night
Halloween finally came around and we were ready. The Carpi Brothers were running their bedroom window drive through service all evening. We walked to their house, approached the bedroom window and, knocked. The curtain parted, the window slid open and the older Carpi Brother picked up a gallon of shroom tea and began pouring it in styrofoam cups sitting on the windowsill. I looked in the room and they must have had 7 or 8 gallon jugs in there. “$5 please”, we handed him the money, downed our glasses, headed back to Philip’s house and waited for the shenanigans to start.
Unfortunately I cant give an accurate description of what happened. With it being my first time to do anything I have no frame of reference, not to mention i’ve killed a lot of brain cells between now and then. What I can tell you is that every thing slowed the fuck down, I was moving in ultra slow motion and was taking shit in well after it actually happened. I remember laughing my ass off and staring at all the vibrant colors, especially this huge bonfire we ended up making in the woods. I stared at it, mesmerized as we all took turns jumping through it, with flames taller than we were. The shit kids do eh? Like I wouldn’t do it again.
To be honest, that was the 1 and only time.. uh-oh, wait a minute I did it one other time, but I didnt do enough… so I just saw pretty colors. So i guess you could say unfortunately (or not) those were the only times I’ve dabbled in the cow poo surprise.
On a side note, I am going to Amsterdam this year (August) and it’s one of the few places that shrooms are legal.. *cough, *cough. I dont do that kind of stuff anymore, I’m just sayin’ thats all.
Until August,
-Timulator
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