So… I’ve updated the blog and changed the format a bit, this is no new news if you’ve been reading facebook, yahoo or the blog. Mosey on in this mufucka and I’ll break it down for you. Y’all know this cowboy is a tall drink of water my friends!

Now you didn’t think I was going to tell you how I got there right from the get go did you? Or maybe what happened next… All I’ll say is that I woke up and something sure as hell didn’t feel right.

My first trip to New York City was in October of 2008. Contrary to what most people say, we found the majority of people in New York to be pretty damn friendly… I cant tell you how many drinks or shots were purchased for us by new friends made in the bars or restaurants. Even most of the initial assholes we’re cool in the end.

In an homage to Jack Handy (saturday night live) I’ll randomly be posting “Deep Thoughts By El Timulator” These will be real life things I hear, see, or participate in as opposed to the really random jack handy thoughts… but you get the idea. These thoughts by themselves are not long enough for a single blog post, so i’ll collect some over time then post.

Three words – EPIC BEARD MAN – this guy single handedly inspired the videos in today’s post. The links are alright.. but you Have to watch the videos… lol

That boy is now a man, physically, not so much mentally… Anyway, this tale begins some 16 years ago when 3 bright lads decided to raid one of their parents liquor cabinets. One of those little bastards just happened to be me.

Jubilee was the ancient war beast of a cruise ship, the last of it’s kind, literally. I had the awesome opportunity of spending time on this floating roach motel on a cruise to Mexico. I still had fun though, if you call projectile vomit, hysterical crying, and almost getting your finger bit off by a lizard fun. I dont know about you guys, but I had one hell of a time…

I just had a discussion about this in the kitchen at work, since it’s fresh on my mind I figured I’d share. The following is what happens when you grow up in the northern suburbs of Houston, Tx and happen to have a cow pasture nearby. Mix that with boredom and you’ve got one hell of a combination.

I was 13 or 14 years old, stood about 4’ 9”, with a 90-pound frame. Give me a break, I hit puberty late… I soon realized my friend alcohol and I had the perfect relationship. I’d drink alcohol, and alcohol would get me drunk. That is of course until the evening that we met our arch nemeses… Blackout & Hangover.