Timulator’s Adventures
Below is a link to all of my thoughts, stories and ramblings… below the link are a few of my personal favorites.
True life tales of oddities, drunkenness and other retarded shit…
Personal Favorites
I passed out in a stranger’s house… oops.
I was 13 or 14 years old, stood about 4’ 9”, with a 90-pound frame. Give me a break, I hit puberty late… I soon realized my friend alcohol and I had the perfect relationship. I’d drink alcohol, and alcohol would get me drunk. That is of course until the evening that we met our arch nemeses… Blackout & Hangover.
This is the first of many posts about some of the crazy people i worked with and how we got ourselves into some crazy shit. Don’t befriend an alcoholic Arab guy running a store, especially if he has “test of bullet” and it’s his “Viskey” (whiskey) night… even if there’s free beer and snacks involved. Mama always said stay away from strangers with candy…
Jubilee was the ancient war beast of a cruise ship, the last of it’s kind, literally. I had the awesome opportunity of spending time on this floating roach motel on a cruise to Mexico. I still had fun though, if you call projectile vomit, hysterical crying, and almost getting your finger bit off by a lizard fun. I dont know about you guys, but I had one hell of a time…
That boy is now a man, physically, not so much mentally… Anyway, this tale begins some 16 years ago when 3 bright lads decided to raid one of their parents liquor cabinets. One of those little bastards just happened to be me.
Several years ago I was awoken by a few swift kicks to the ribs… when I came too and opened my eyes there were 6 shadowy figures looming over me. Aside from the figures I could see nothing but a bright white light, It was almost as if I had died and gone to purgatory. Was I being judged by these shadowy figures, would I be going to heaven, hell maybe or would it just be an overnight stay in county…
